


Messaging from Hell

by IudexInfernalis



Category: Supernatural, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Bickering, Crossover, Lucifer (Supernatural) in the Cage, M/M, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 03:30:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20686793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IudexInfernalis/pseuds/IudexInfernalis
Summary: Lucifer has to fulfill a deal made with a family of witches who didn't quite understand how deals work.He has to give his answers to Akako's questions in riddles and it's annoying.Especially when it comes to something as complicated as love.Sam wants to help. Michael knows it better.





	Messaging from Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the most niche thing I've ever written, and I write Ducifer fics.  
Anyways, I just wanted to have some fun with two shows that brought me through difficult times and that I still love.
> 
> I hope a few of you have fun with it too!

The cage was monotone. It was all around a prison, nothing more. No bed, no TV, nothing. Lucifer had enjoyed his time on earth way too much to go back to this boring monotony. Sam wasn’t holding up that well either but it made sense. The cage was not meant for two archangels and two human souls.  
If it hadn’t been for Sam’s stubborn brother, the brother that had kept by his side and defended him until the end. It was the kind of brother that Lucifer never had himself, the kind of brother that faced off against archangels if it meant even a chance at saving his brother.  
What did he have?  
He had the idiot on the other side of the cage ranting and raving and trying to kill Lucifer whenever he had an idea of how it might work. It never did.  
So in this screaming monotony of fire, murderous brothers, and being shunned by the two humans souls he occupied himself with other things. It wasn’t anything new but it at least entertained him because his roommates were lethally boring, even when one of them was still trying to kill him.  
Lucifer sat down at the edge of the cage and was silent, reading through the writings he had gotten and the writings he might send. It wasn’t easy, especially with humans too stupid to make proper deals. It annoyed Lucifer to no end.  
“What are you doing?”  
That was Sam. His vessel hadn’t talked to him ever since the cage had started eating at his soul and Michael had made sure to attack whenever he felt like it.  
“Dealings.”  
The curiosity he felt wasn’t his own. He knew that. Especially since he had been dealing with this for a while.  
“And what kind of dealings?”  
“That’s way too complicated for a simple mind like yours.”  
“Are you rhyming?”  
“If you aren’t quiet in a moment I will push you to the back of your mind.”  
“Then just explain what’s going on.”  
Lucifer sighed. Sam just had to annoy him despite the pain he was experiencing. He was sure Sam wouldn’t remember it later anyway, since the pain could temper with memories, so he decided to share.  
“It’s about a witch. She has a long, ancient family line of powerful witches. Her ancestors were powerful enough to get a deal with myself personally but screwed up the conditions. That means she gets advice from me but in the form of riddles, sometimes with rhymes and- are you laughing?”  
That was indeed what Sam was doing. Only a soul, in pain with small reprieves, was laughing at him. How incredibly embarrassing.  
“Sorry, I’ll stop. Look, I’m not in pain right now, maybe I can help?”  
Lucifer hummed and let Sam see what he was seeing. Sam frowned at the writings.  
“Raven? Dove? What’s with the birds?”  
“The Raven is a detective and the Dove a phantom thief.”  
“What?”  
“Do I really need to explain the whole story to you?”  
“Would be a nice change from the constant pain or silence going on here.”  
“Well, it’s not like we have anything else to do here, so listen up. The Dove is a young boy, 17, and his father was a phantom thief. A criminal organisation tried to force him to bring them a stone that grants immortality-“  
“I think you just lost me.”  
“Then let me continue. Anyways, he refused to bring them the stone and they killed him, leaving the young boy half an orphan. He found his father’s lair and continued where his father left off to find the people who killed him.”  
There was silence in his head. That was unusual. Sam might ignore him but he was sometimes screaming with pain and something calling for his brother. Because Sam had a brother worth calling out for. A brother who would have come instantly if he could and heard him. Not a brother who would never ever listen, who would only ever do what their father said.  
“Alright, okay. You’ve got me interested. So what’s with the detective?”  
“The detective is just as old as the phantom thief. He was going after shady people when they knocked him out and force fed him a poison that should have killed him but really took away ten years, making him appear to be seven. He is back to normal but he is still in hiding from the people who did that to him.”  
“That sounds completely insane.”  
“That is only the bare bones of the story, Sam. You see, the witch wanted to seduce the thief but wasn’t able to. She is now reluctantly helping him. Apparently she thinks that the detective and the thief have a thing for each other and needs to make them realize it. And that is the problem I am trying to solve for her.”  
“Tell me more.”  
Lucifer should protest. After all, he should be dealing with the request and not with his vessel’s soul being nosy.  
“The detective is one of Death’s favourites. The big grim reaper himself makes sure that the detective runs into as many murders as possible to solve them. Some humans apparently call the detective a reaper because of it. He met the thief at one of the thief’s heists and sparks were flying.”  
“I thought they don’t realize it?”  
“Oh no, these kind of sparks came later. At first it was rivalry. The feeling of an opponent who is able to challenge you, to drive you to your absolute best. “  
“It seems like you’re quite fascinated by the story yourself, Lucifer.”  
“Absolutely not!”  
“It looks to me like you’re protesting a bit too much.”  
“I do not know what you are talking about.”  
Even though Sam wasn’t actively working in his body right now Lucifer could feel the raise of eyebrows and he wanted to throw Sam out. It wouldn’t do any good though and might just further damage Sam’s soul. After all, he needed to be in as good a state as possible when eventually his brother would come and free Sam because that was what Sam’s brother did. He would never let him rot until ‘father decided it was time’ for him to be killed. It was better being stuck with Sam than even the thought of being alone with Michael.  
“I might have become a little bit invested in their story.”  
“Knew it.”  
The smug feeling from Sam already made him regret admitting it.  
“That’s great, Sam, but that doesn’t solve anything.”  
“Okay, then tell me her last request.”  
“So, apparently the detective is going to be at the next heist of the thief.”  
“How does she know that?”  
“Oh, the detective is at all the heists.”  
“No, I mean, how does she know there will be a heist?”  
“He announces the heists.”  
“Wait what?”  
“In a riddle. He announces when the heist happens and what the target is.”  
“Are you by any chance talking about a certain thief named Kaito Kid?”  
“How did you know?”  
“I’ve read about that guy. Now at least I know why he’s not doing international heists anymore.”  
“Exactly. Although that is not my problem either. Her request is to get them to realize their dancing around is more than just simple rivalry.”  
“And you’re supposed to give the instructions for it?”  
“Exactly.”  
“Oblivious idiots?”  
“Very much so.”  
“And you have to help her while talking in riddles.”  
“I already explained that.”  
“I know. I’m just trying to get it into my head. It just sounds absolutely crazy.”  
Lucifer just huffed and left Sam to think. He had to make a riddle that would give her the chance to make them realize what was going on.  
“The Raven and the Dove shall… No. In the exact moment when the moon is the highest… No. It can’t be that hard!”  
“How long have you been trying?”  
“A while. I tried it with simple things at first. Too vague. More elaborate. She didn’t get it. How am I supposed to help when I have to make a riddle every single time she makes a request?”  
He had the feeling Sam was highly amused and it annoyed Lucifer. Sam knew very well that he never lied and if someone had a deal they had a deal.  
“Why not send a demon not bound by the deal?”  
“What do you think a demon would do?”  
“Okay, stupid question.”  
Lucifer and Sam both were silent and to his surprise Lucifer had the feeling that Sam wanted to help. Not for Lucifer’s sake, of course, but for the sake of the witch and the two idiots that were dancing around each other.  
“Lucifer! What kind of scheme are you trying to construct?”  
“Huh?”  
Michael was standing in front of him, apparently for the moment fed up with trying to kill him.  
“No scheme today, brother.”  
As he was about to get back to his riddle ideas his brother sat down in front of him.  
“Then what are you doing?”  
“Dealing.”  
“But-“  
“Shut up. I just had an idea and now I forgot it.”  
Michael moved closer.  
“Riddles, Ravens, Doves… Brother, have you lost the last remnants of your mind?”  
“I said shut up. This is a deal and I’m not talking with you about it.”  
“This riddle is wrong.”  
“I know. I’m trying to-“  
“Let me see. I can do it better.”  
Lucifer sighed deeply. First his vessel and now his brother. He thought boredom was bad but being crowded was worse. Especially after Michael’s multiple tries to kill him.  
“This is my deal and I will finish the riddle for the witch who has a deal with me. Only me. I know what I’m doing.”  
“Obviously not. Your rhymes are awful and no one would ever solve these riddles.”  
“One more word, Michael, I swear.”  
“We’ve got nothing better to do. Let him try. It means he’ll have something else to do and we won’t get attacked for a while.”  
Sam made way too much sense for Lucifer’s liking. His brother was distracted from attacking them and it was quiet for once.  
“Fine. I am trying to help a witch with making two idiots realize they are in love.”  
Michael took the writings Lucifer had and looked over them.  
“Awful, just awful.”  
“Wow, thank you.”  
“This part is the worst.”  
“No, that is the only part I like!”  
“Then I do not want to see the worst parts. You need to understand how language works, Lucifer.”  
“I know very well how language works!”  
He was officially taking it back. Sam’s idea was awful and he didn’t like it at all.  
“Just go back into your corner to talk about how you will get rid of me forever.”  
“I thought you have problems with your deal? After all, I can do this better than you.”  
Lucifer wished in that moment, that he had something to kill Michael with.  
“This is my deal and I’m going to write this to Akako without you giving your stupid input.”  
Sam wanted to bash his head against the border of the cage but he currently had no control over his body.  
Meanwhile, somewhere in Tokyo, Akako was waiting for Lucifer’s response. He was taking incredibly long. If Lucifer didn’t send his message soon she would be late for school. When she finally got the message she was confused.  
“Three different versions? And I need to tell him which is the best? What?”


End file.
